MO-TELL is getting ready for the annual liars contest and we hope you are too. The rules for this year are on the website www.mo-tell.org. Take a look at them and sign up.
Missouri has the best liars in the country.
This year’s event is being held in Columbia, MO at the Columbia Library on July 20th.
There will be storytelling, a workshop and a contest. Our annual auction will be online and is scheduled for August. There will be a quilt raffle in the month following the contest. I hope you are a part of this MO-TELL happening. Your lie could be a winner.
Keep telling your tales whether they be lies or truths,
Joyce Slater
President, MO-TELL
“No one can make a story sing quite like a liar. Spinning falsehoods is its own kind of storytelling.”
- Emma Sarappo, The Atlantic
A man walks into a bar and says “Ouch.”
A priest, a minister and a rabbit walk in a bar. The bartender asks the rabbit, “What would youlike to drink?” The rabbit says, “I don’t know, I’m just here because of autocorrect.”
A grasshopper walks into a bar. The bartender says, “Hey, we have a drink named after you!”The grasshopper says, “You have a drink named Steve?!”
A dyslectic man walks into a bra...
Charles Dickens walks into a bar and orders a martini. Bartender says, “Olive or twist?”
Three vampires walk into a bar and order two bloods and a blood lite.
A gorilla walks into a bar and orders a scotch on the rocks. The bartender says, “We don’t get many gorillas in here.” The gorilla says, “Well, at $13 a drink, I’m not surprised!”
A man walks into a bar and sees a horse behind the bar. The man says, “I’m shocked.” The horse says, “Why, can’t you believe a horse can be a bartender?” The man says, “No, I thought the cow was working today.”
A termite walks into a bar and says, “Is your bar tender here.”
A duck walks into a bar, orders a drink. The duck says, “just put in on my bill.”
A snail walks into a bar and the bartender throws him out. The snail comes back two days later and says, “Why did you throw me out?”
The Past, the Present, and the Future walked in a bar. It was tense!
by Fran Stallings
A country boy had a girlfriend who lived on the other side of a lake that was surrounded by marsh land. Usually he walked the long way around the lake when he wanted to visit her. But one lovely full moon night in summer, he was in a hurry and decided to take a short cut by going directly through the marsh.
He heard the smallest frogs calling, “Wade in! Wade in!” So he took off his boots and socks and stepped into the marsh, carrying his boots to keep them dry.
As he waded further, he heard “Ankle deep! Ankle deep!” Yes, the water was welling up over his feet.
Middle sized frogs called “Knee deep! Knee deep!” He rolled up his pants legs. The muddy bottom sucked at his bare feet. The water got deeper and deeper as he went across. Pretty soon he was up to his waist, struggling to keep his boots dry overhead!
The bull frogs started calling, “Better go round. Better go round.”
Not knowing how much deeper it might get, he followed the bull frogs’ advice and struggled back out of the marsh, covered with malodorous mud. He headed home for a bath and didn’t see his girfriend until the next evening. “I just wish the bull frogs had started calling before I stepped into that marsh!”
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It’s fun to tell this story with help from the audience to create a chorus of frog calls. Then you can explain the difference between a marsh (herbaceous, often adjacent to lakes) and a swamp (forested, often along rivers). Both are wetlands but have different vegetation and therefore offer different animal habitats.